The world is full of sexy women, and all of us havefelt the urge to stray, even just for one night.Here’s why staying faithful pays off, for yourrelationship and for your s*x life.Thing 1: When presented with the ideal cheatingscenario, that is, if a flying saucer lands in the cornfieldwhere you happen to be standing and a female alien ofsinus-clearing hotness slithers down the ramp anddeclares that she wants to come in peace a minimum offour times in the next hour, andyou take her up on itbecause you know no one will ever find out, no onemust ever find out.Thing 2: Someone will always find out.Thing 3: If you get caught, the law is on your wife’sside. And you won’t lose just half of your stuff. Theother half, the golf clubs, the surround sound, theArmani will be destroyed in a spectacular drivewaybonfire as every angry woman you know toastsmarshmallows shaped like yourtesticles.Thing 4: And if you’re not married? Your longtime girl isbound by no law.Thing 5: Or, to paraphrase Neil Simon, do to yourselfwhat you would otherwise do unto others.Thing 6: If a woman who knows you’re spoken forcomes on to you, it’s flattering. It’s tempting. Butremember that she’s doing it to feed her own ego, notyours. She wants to see how much power she holdsover you. And if you take her bait, she then knows shemust be superior in every way to your sweetie. Deepdown, she has nothing but contempt for both your maleweakness and your mate’s existence. That should reallypiss you off.Thing 7: According to the Shari’ah, the laws of ancientIslam, adulterers must be stoned to death. Before yousay, “Dude, cool,” we mean withrocks. In these parts,that’s what will happen to your good name. Friends youmade while you were a couple will disappear. Friendsyou had as a single guy are longgone. That leaves youwith the hard drinkers.Thing 8: You’re about to be with the kind of womanwho wants to be with the kind of man who would cheaton a woman.Thing 9: Channel all temptation toward the girl you leftat home. Example: When out for a night with the boys,go to Hooters, not a strip club or roadhouse. Hootersgirls are the unsung heroines ofrelationship therapy,gorgeous, chatty, and so untouchable that you alwaysgo home hungry. Your girl has no idea her s*x life willimprove tenfold when you get there.Thing 10: At the office party, pretend the coworkerwho’s flirting with you has gonorrhea.Thing 11: If your ex calls, enjoy a pleasant 5-minuteconversation. Then tell her yourwife’s on the other line.Thing 12: Treat your temptation as a cage match.Defeating that treacherous organ between your legs isthe ultimate triumph of man over nature. It’s you versusyour man-hood. He’s up for the challenge. Are you?

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